Which would be more frightening: seeing Slylock Fox and his trusty rat sidekick stride confidently into your exam room while you were clothed in nothing more than a thin, open-backed gown, or...jeez, I can't think of anything more frightening than that. The horrified look on Kathy Kangaroo's face is all the confirmation you need. Most likely she's thinking, "Will Slylock Fox's claws scape my insides during the digital rectal exam? And why is he wearing a cape?"
This bookend theft certainly is curious. Not so much that Klepto Kathy pilfered the bookend--who hasn't coveted a bookend?--but that there are bookends in an exam room at all. Have you ever seen a line of thick medical reference books in an exam room held upright by sturdy bookends? Neither have I. In fact, I'd find it disturbing if in the middle of an exam my doctor started leafing through the DSM. It's a confidence thing.
And the anthropologist in me is puzzled over the taxonomy of the skeleton featured on that wall calendar. It appears vaguely apelike, but it also appears to be missing its spine. Perhaps Kathy Kangaroo sees Dr. Moreau because he's the only physician in her HMO who caters to anthropomorphic animals. The generic "Diploma" on the wall behind her attests to the good doctor's dubious credentials.
But I think I have this one figured out. Slylock can discover if Kathy Kangaroo lifted the bookend by weighing her. If Kathy Kangaroo weighs more than she did during her exam then there's a bookend in her pouch. And from what I know about kangaroo pouches, the bookend is bound to be mucousy.
Am I right?
I am! I win this round, Bob Weber Jr!
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